You're my little dorito
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
