Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
