therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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