Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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