dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
