Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
