I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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