Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
