Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
