By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
