some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
