So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
