Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
