So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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