Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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