I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
