I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
