Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
