miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
