i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
