Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
