I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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