I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
