i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
