She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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