Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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