Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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