Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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