I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
