a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
