yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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