i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
