Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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