Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
