So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
