dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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