So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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