you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
