you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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