I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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