Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
