I feel like abortions should bother me more
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
