She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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