are you still at the devil's house?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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