There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
