just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
