Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
