you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
