I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
