I smell stomach acid.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Princesses don't give blow jobs
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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