More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
