My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
